There's always a constant debate happening in my kitchen. Is this slimy? Is that slimy? Hey Mrs. Mike, IS THIS SLIMY?! The reason I'm in this constant state of unrest is partly because lunch meat is inherently slimy in nature. Or kind of... wet. If I threw pieces of lunch meat against the barren walls of my trophy room I'd have something of a "Meat Room." And I reckon they'd stay up there for some time. So, how am I supposed to know if what I have will make me a delicious lunch, or end me up in the grave?
The general rule I've been told is within a week you are safe. I buy my lunch meat in bulk at Costco, sometimes pounds at a time. I literally bought 4 pounds of roast beef last month alone. And threw out 75% of it after a week. Listen, I can 't make these calls on my own. I'm letting my family down and I'm letting myself down.
Turkey is perhaps the slimiest lunch meat of them all. It wouldn't take much to convince me that turkey straight from the deli, freshly sliced, is bad lunch meat if you put it in one of those Halloween boxes where you stick your hand in and feel brains. Those could've been way more dangerous, in retrospect, had the adults in the situation be sick in the crainium. Either way, defense is the best offense and I feel I need to rid myself of anything questionable in the fridge. Also, stop naming your kids Schuyler.
Are you a lunch meat expert? Have any tips for me to make it to the next round with my off-the-bone ham? Leave a comment or contact me because the comments make you sign in. I hate that too.
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