It's true. There was a time where I wasn't always known as "Angry Mike." In fact, I was simply "Mike" until I was 24 years old. This isn't going to be one of those blogs you can just surf for 3 minutes while dropping a deuce in the handicap stall. This one cuts deep. I'm not a man who is used to vulnerability. I keep a tough exterior up, I hate what I hate and I even hate what I like. But that's because I am not whole. I'm a broken man. I've known what it is to love, but I doubt I'll ever feel that again. Enough soliliquy, let's get to the brash tax. Because I actually do want to keep this at 3 minutes and I have shit to do.
I'm a Philadelphia Eagles fan. Yes, in 2017 we did the dance and we took home our first Super Bowl of all time. First time I ever hugged my dad. First time I ever kissed my sister (just kidding) but seriously it was awesome. But I, the fan, the guy who devotes like 2 or 3 hours a week to this team did more than this man ever has.
Look at that boner. Hurt all the time. A locker room cancer. Simply overrated. A man who should not be having sex for the sake of his career. Carrrrrson. *hisses like a snake* Carrrrrsssssoooooon. Why oh why won't you go away Carson. I'm not a sports blogger. I'm not going to provide certain game examples and statistics and all that stuff the strong hot jock nerds do on ESPN. All I know is he was good before he started having sex, and now that he has allegedly had it, his fire is gone and he's a bum. The way that I hate this man is contrasted by what I think must be love. Scroll down a lil.
What does that look like to you? To me, it looks like a well-endowed champion that never would've had a career decline if he stayed where he belonged. SPORTS COMMENT ALERT: Yeah, I know he was beaten out by Mitch Trubisky this year, not a great look, but WE did that to him. The EAGLES did that to him. He gave us a Super Bowl, we showed him the door. Heartless. Foolish. I can feel it now. The anger. I am Angry Mike. It's who I am now and I'll die as Angry Mike. My tombstone will read "Here Lies Angry Mike. Whoever Pissed Him Off So Bad?"
And the answer is the Eagles. I joined this blog because I wanted to write pure, honest, influencial information. And that's what I've left out on the field today. What'd you leave, Carson?
Disagree? I don't care. Leave your thoughts in the comment section and a drunken Dr. Rye will do a backflip. I'll be pouring Mountain Dew Limewire on ant hills and watching them kick it up a notch.
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